A one-to-one should not be the meeting where a manager asks, “So, how is everything?” and then spends thirty minutes reviewing tasks.
Useful one-to-ones create a reliable space for priorities, performance, feedback, development, risk, and the issues employees may not raise in a team meeting.
The Core Agenda
A simple structure works well for most teams.
- What matters most right now?
- What is blocked or at risk?
- What feedback needs to be exchanged?
- What development or support is needed?
- What commitments are we making before next time?
1. Start With the Employee’s Priorities
Ask the employee to identify the two or three things that matter most. This reveals whether priorities are aligned before you add your own agenda.
Useful questions include:
- What needs your attention most this week?
- What is taking more time than expected?
- Where do you need a decision from me?
- What has changed since we last spoke?
2. Surface Blockers Before They Become Excuses
A blocker is not only a technical problem. It can be unclear authority, another team’s delay, conflicting priorities, lack of information, or a decision nobody owns.
The manager’s job is not to solve every blocker personally. It is to help determine the right action, owner, or escalation.
3. Make Feedback Normal
If feedback appears only when something is wrong, employees learn to fear it.
Use one-to-ones for small, specific feedback in both directions.
Ask:
- What should I keep doing as your manager?
- What would make my support more useful?
- Is there anything I am doing that slows you down?
Then give your own feedback with the same specificity.
4. Include Development Without Turning Every Meeting Into Career Planning
Development can be a short recurring question:
“What are you trying to get better at right now, and what work would help?”
This keeps development connected to real assignments rather than waiting for an annual career conversation.
5. End With Clear Commitments
Finish by confirming:
- what the employee will do;
- what the manager will do;
- what decision is still open;
- what deadline applies;
- what should be escalated before the next one-to-one.
What Not to Do
- Do not cancel repeatedly when work becomes busy.
- Do not use the meeting only for status reporting.
- Do not save all difficult feedback for the one-to-one.
- Do not dominate the conversation.
- Do not make promises and then forget them.
Weekly or Fortnightly?
Frequency depends on role complexity, employee experience, workload, and current risk. A new employee, first-time manager, or fast-changing project may need weekly conversations. A stable senior employee may not.
The important thing is that the rhythm is predictable enough for employees to know they will have space to raise issues.
A 30-Minute Template
- 5 minutes: priorities and changes.
- 10 minutes: blockers, decisions, and risks.
- 5 minutes: feedback.
- 5 minutes: development or career.
- 5 minutes: actions and commitments.
Use Notes Carefully
Keep enough record to remember actions and follow-up, but do not turn every conversation into a formal dossier. Sensitive employee-relations matters should follow the organization’s proper process.
For New Managers
Your one-to-one system is one of the fastest ways to build management discipline. It forces regular attention to performance, workload, relationships, and development before problems become urgent.
Prepare Before the Meeting
A useful one-to-one begins before either person enters the room. Both manager and employee should know that the meeting is not simply an open calendar slot.
A lightweight preparation routine can include:
- review the commitments from the previous one-to-one;
- identify one success worth recognizing;
- identify one issue that should not be avoided;
- check workload and upcoming deadlines;
- note any development or career topic that needs time;
- identify decisions the employee is waiting for.
The preparation should take minutes, not become another administrative process.
What the Employee Should Own
One-to-ones become much stronger when the employee brings an agenda too. The manager does not need to carry the whole conversation.
Employees can be encouraged to bring:
- their current top priorities;
- one blocker or decision;
- one topic they want feedback on;
- one issue they want help thinking through;
- one development question.
This builds ownership and prevents the meeting from feeling like an inspection.
How to Handle Performance Concerns
A one-to-one is a good place for performance feedback, but serious concerns should not be saved until the next scheduled meeting if delay will make the problem worse.
When discussing a performance issue, use a simple sequence:
- state the expectation;
- describe the specific evidence;
- explain the impact;
- ask for the employee’s perspective;
- agree the required change;
- confirm when progress will be reviewed.
Keep the conversation about work, behaviour, and outcomes rather than personality labels.
How to Use One-to-Ones for Development
Development should not be reduced to “what course do you want?”
Ask what capability would help the employee perform at greater scope. Then look for work that creates that experience.
Examples include:
- leading a client meeting;
- owning a small project;
- presenting a recommendation;
- mentoring a new colleague;
- taking responsibility for a recurring process;
- working with another function.
Formal learning can support development, but work itself is usually where the capability becomes visible.
When a One-to-One Is Not the Right Forum
Some issues need a different process.
- Formal disciplinary matters may require HR or policy steps.
- Urgent safety, compliance, or customer risks should not wait.
- Team-wide problems may need a team discussion.
- Complex project decisions may require the relevant stakeholders.
The one-to-one is important, but it should not become the container for every management issue.
A One-to-One Notes Template
- Top priorities:
- Blockers / decisions:
- Feedback:
- Development:
- Manager actions:
- Employee actions:
- Follow-up date:
Use notes to preserve commitments, not to create unnecessary bureaucracy.
Where to Go Next
The First-Time Manager Program for Women includes one-to-ones, delegation, feedback, former peers, performance, and a 90-day management plan. The wider Effective Leadership Skills for New Managers course covers the same core management disciplines for mixed cohorts.
The best one-to-one is not the most complicated one. It is the one where important issues consistently surface early enough to manage them.
Develop this capability in your organization